Monday, February 28, 2011

Were YOU Watching?

I tried my very best to stay up late last night to watch the Oscars. My son Keeno said to me "Mom what are you so excited about anyway, you barely went to the movies last year" LOL. Yeah, i know. I laughed too.
"Oh well, i don't watch it for the nominees Keeno, i watch it for the fashion" "Yeah i already knew that" He laughed. I'm an early bird and usually get to sleep by 10:30pm the absolute latest. Well, last night i made it too 10:20pm and this morning the boys filled me in. But i enjoyed what i caught. Myself, Captain who must of had buggss in his pants all day and evening, Vanessa (Keeno's girlfriend) Kirk (my foster son) and Keeno hung out in the living room and had a great time together.

Anne Hathaway & James Franco were the hosts for this years 83rd Academy Awards. In my opinion, they did a fantastic job.

The Oscars have come such a long way since it was held many years ago at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. Two hundred seventy people attended the May 16, 1929 dinner in the hotel’s Blossom Room and guess what? The guest tickets cost $5. It was a long affair filled with speeches and not so focused on fashion.
There was little suspense when the awards were presented that night: the recipients had already been announced three months earlier. That all changed the following year, however, when the Academy decided to keep the results secret until the ceremony but gave a list in advance to newspapers for publication at 11 p.m. on the night of the Awards. I can't imagine how much fun that would have been to watch. I mean, unless you were watching for the same reasons i was; fashion :-)

In 1953, the first televised Oscar ceremony enabled millions throughout the United States and Canada to watch the proceedings. Broadcasting in color began in 1966, giving home viewers a chance to experience the exciting allure of the event. Since 1969, the Oscar show has been broadcast internationally, now reaching movie fans in over 200 countries. My home was one of these homes viewing in last night.

We had a blast. We joked, laughed and made fun of  "a few" outfits. But i must admit, not many. Most of the ladies looked stunning. I have my FAVOURITE ones of course. I will list here in #1 being my FAV!

Cate Blanchett in Givenchy. "WOW" is all i can say.

In no particular order. I love all of these gowns. Halle is in a stunning Marchesa Gown.

Hailee Steinfeld totally looks her age here in her Marchesa Gown.

I was totally amazed with Jennifer Hudson. Ohh my goodness she looks amazing. I think i was most impressed with her weight lost than the dress.

Gwyneth is a "star" Did you all catch the part when she was asked "If you got to do a duo with an artist who would you pick?" Her answer "Jay Z" Hhhmm i was not shocked at all.

She is so angelic.
I love all of them!

Ok so here was the funniest moment of the night. When she said the "f" word...10 seconds later they posted a "PG" tag on the screen LOL She really did look Star Stunned!

One downfall: I did not see Jennifer Lopez there :-(((((((((((((( To be honest, that is why i went to sleep.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

The Truth About Walking!

Last night, just before bed, i did my usual thanng- showered, slipped into my nighties, kissed Keeno and Kirk "good night", grabbed The Happiness Project and laid in my comfy sweet smelling white sheets and duvet. I came across a page that spoke about "exercising" and was very drawn to the words she wrote about "walking"

Is there a difference between "power walking" and "jogging"

Well, let me say this; i had my first power walk at 7am this morning since last summer (i do a lot of walking in the summer) and i was totally amazed at how amazing i felt. Although it was snowing, the weather was plus 4 and the sound of the stillness outside soothed my soul. I began silently doing my worship as i try and do every morning, and i could hear the birds singing. I almost believed they were singing along with me
:-) and i watched the small children holding hands with their grandparents/parents on their walk to school. What i loved the most is on my way back home, i could see that not one person had walked my path. How did i know this? My footprints were still the only prints in the snow.

Now, had i been jogging would i have felt all these incredible feelings of inner peace and joy? Would i have been so present? the NO! I jog from time to time in the summer and my mind is usually running with my feet. I think about different things. Business. My next task. Getting to work. Cooking the days meal. Captain...Keeno...yaddy yaddy yaww. Now I'm not saying jogging is- not good. Not at all. Please if you don't do it, start. I'm just showing you the difference that jogging and walking makes for me. Personally.

Walking outdoors is simply beautiful. It is a time to reflect and be present. It is "TIME" for YOU! I mean, we all deserve this. How much time a day do you take for YOU? Truly. I'm talking time where you are doing nada! Relaxing. Listening to music. Any music of your choice. My choice is classic soft R&B like Janet Jackson or Alicia Keys...but then i have my collection of Gospel that truly soothes my soul and spirit.

If you choose to start walking, you can either bring your ipod with you or do as i did, leave it at home. It does not mean you have to find an hour in your day to start. Just find 20 minutes to get your shoes on and hit the roads. You will be amazed at what this can do for your life.

If you have a partner, children or friends, start a "walking time" everyday with them. Stick to it. Pick a time and do it! Captain and i go for nature walks in the summer. I have been doing this with him since birth. It is one of our FAV times together. I let him run through the bushes, grass and trees and we have a good laugh. We take lots of treats with us and we don't rush back.

Let this summer be the best one of your life. Live, Laugh and learn to Dance!
Love, Liz

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Act The Way...You Want To Feel!

I can't get my eyes off this book The Happiness Project

I use to be such a reading junkie and recently got back into it. I'm telling you ladies, reading is so soothing for the soul. I started back again about 3 months ago and ever since, i have felt amazing. Especially books like this or The Power of Now. Another great read.

I went to Chapters this morning before work since i had 2 hours to kill and ohhhh my there was the $1 and $2 dollar sale. Yes, that's right. Hard cover books on sale for $1. Oh my, i was in heaven. I was just telling my foster son Kirk, that i need another book shelf as i don't have any space to put my books. My current shelf is over packed. Well, i did it. i purchased 16 books. I know...i know....oh well, they were only $1 or 2 each (wink wink)

Well, as i have mentioned in a previous blog, I'm reading The Happiness Project again and for some reason I'm getting way more out of it than the first time. I guess it is because I'm applying one of her rules READ OUT LOUD to yourself. Boy oh boyyy does it ever make a difference.

Gretchen has a list of Commandments in which she lives by and applies to all areas of her life.

  • Be Gretchen
  • Let it Go
  • Act the way i want to feel
  • Do it now
  • Be poilte and fair
  • Enjoy the process
  • Spend out
  • Identify the problem
  • Lighten up
  • Do what ought to be done
  • No calculation
  • There is only LOVE
A question she gets asked so often and i will quote her own answer:
"One question I get a lot is, “So you’ve been doing this Happiness Project. Are you actually happier?”

The answer is YES. But that doesn’t mean that I’m happy all the time, or that I’ve reformed all my bad habits that make me unhappy........Once again, I realize that the secret is to live according to my Twelfth Commandment: “There is only love.” So hard, but it’s the way to happiness."


If we can apply these rules to every area of our lives, life would be so much better. I mean, i have been trying a few of them (i will get to all of them) and the few that are really working are; Do It Now. She explains that if something takes less than ONE minute, do it now. Like putting the dishes away or making the bed when you get up.
Or; Act The Way You Want To Feel. I have been doing this almost my entire life. As a child facing the tribulations i encountered at home and on the street, i learned to brush my shoulder off and keep on smiling. Only now, i have mastered a different approach to this. I face it, cry or scream if i have too...maybe i just keep on smiling instead ..and i let go. Because i know how it will make me feel and what is the point of all that waisted energy? I act happy because it's how i strive to feel every morning. If something or someone upsets me, i pay it no mind. I want to be happy and that is my goal. Than there is; There is Only true. No matter what goes on around you, if you keep this in mind, you will judge less. You will laugh more and you will love deeper.

I challenge you to try on these Commandments and tell me how it works :-)
I'm the happiest i have ever been and believe me if i was a sucker, i would have every reason not to be, from childhood to 2009, however I'm in control of my own Happiness and i choose To Be Happy!

Monday, February 21, 2011

A "TREAT" Account!

Now, i must admit that i do spend a lot of my time browsing Fashion Sites. But i have come a long way in regards to my temptations. Before i got married i use to spend spend buy buy. It was a terrible habit from hell lol. I guess we can say it was a good thing i had gotten married lol- for that reason, wink wink.
Since then, i have def had a bit more money to play with. Maybe i should be saving more, but you only live once. I do have a couple savings accounts and life insurance and also an "emergency" account (which i do not touch) so we can say I'm doing pretty good :-))

Lately i have been "browsing" a bit more than usual ...but i can't seem to help it.

There are Fashion Designers that just seem to "hit the spot" for me. What spot? My weak spot. The spot that will convince me somehow to "purchase"

While i can't afford to buy the things i "want" not "need" i have come up with a payment plan :-)

If you see a pair of shoes you want or a hand bag (my weakness) than you can easily treat yourself once a month. This is what i do. I mean, i work hard, I'm a good mother, a great friend, loving sister/daughter, and i do my part in giving why not treat myself once a month. sometimes it is a bit more often, but i aim for once a month. This is a FARRRR cry from 15 times a month just a few years ago. So i can pat myself on the back.

I set my eye on the accessories and then i plan my next move lol. How can you do this? Well, start a "treat" account. This is where you put in money to treat yourself. It does not have to be for a fashion item. For instance, i put money in mine every 2 weeks for my "spending for a big item" account. I do what i please with this money. Last year, i treated myself and Captain (my 3 year old) to Dominican. I bought a few treats :-) and then this year in April i have treated Keeno and myself to a vacation. A 5 star hotel where we can relax and have fun at the same time. I was going on a mission trip but had to cancel because i owe Keeno a "graduation vacation from last year"

So, if you get my point here- a "treat account" is what you need.

I have my eye on a few treats and now i will have to decide which one i want. I wish i could say "need" but in all honesty, i don't need them. I have over 100 pairs of shoes, just a few of which i wear often. I know, crazy! Let's not even begin with hand bags or clutches.

There is also another choice; most banks offer the "Tax-Free" savings account where you can save without paying taxes. I also have this account and use it for "emergency savings" Which means, if i really need the money, i will dip in. But, so far i have not done this. Now my Savings Bond at work, on the other hand, i have lol.

If you want to manage your spending a bit more or always be sure to put aside your "treat" money, then go ahead and pay your bank a 15 minute visit and open an account. This has changed everything for me. I'm def one of the ladies who can get totally caught up with i need to stay focused!

Be Blessed!

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Get Out or Stay In!

Family Day is exciting for children but i think even more so for parents as they do not get to spend an entire weekday with their families very often.

I decided to blog about activities we can all take part in for Ontario's newest holiday.

Want To Stay Home?

If you feel like staying home or you procrastinated your planning so long that everything is booked, here are a few things to keep the family busy without turning on the TV.
Outdoor forts are super cool but so are indoor forts. I'm telling you, Captain is a Fort Junkie. He will stay under it all day and even ask to get his potty if he could (lol) Try logging onto this site for instructions on Building An Indoor Fort

If your little one slove music, why not put together a "play band" with pots and pans. But brace yourself for the noise these Musical Instruments can make (lol)

Let's face it, our little ones LOVE LOVE baking. Especially if they can help out. If your children are anything like Captain, you will probably not be allowed to take part lol...This is a great time to get messy, laugh and really enjoy one another. Don't worry about cleaning up, you can take care of that after, as a family. Log onto this site for Baking Goodies

Children Under 10

SpongeBob Square Pants at CN Tower Bring the kids to a Toronto Landmark to meet two popular childrens characters.

Family Toy building workshop at The Science Centre Get your kids to build toys from everyday objects. Free admission.

Casa Loma Explore the former home of Sir Henry Pellatt  and its beautifully furnished rooms, secret passages, towers, and 800-foot tunnel.

Family Day Festivities at The Beaches Classic street fair activities such as face painting, a petting zoo and ice skating.

Indoor Playground Try an indoor playground where they can switch between rock climbing, mini-golf and arcade games. From 10 a.m. to 9 p.m.

The Toronto Zoo Zookeepers will demystify the creatures in talks scheduled throughout the day. Admission is half price. From 9:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m.

Things To Do With The Teens

Paint balling-Release your aggression by shooting paint-filled capsules at each other. Apparently, it feels like getting slapped with a wet towel.

Hockey Hall of Fame  Explore the history of our national sport and get a free wristband for your teens, too. From 10 a.m. to 5 p.m

There are so many options for you and your children this Family Day. Just get out there are have a blast. I'm totally stuck at the office :-(( However, i will make the best of it as soon as i get home. I don't know exactly how much Captain understands, but I'm sure he gets it!

Have a blessed weekend and holiday Monday and we will chat soon!

Friday, February 18, 2011

What To Blog About?

Personally, i find blogging a very rewarding task as it usually involves some level of research and gives me an in depth understanding on the "topic of choice"

Where do i get my ideas from? Well, this morning i posted "What shall i blog about" on my facebook and Giulia from Giulia's Invitations and Accessories commented "Blog about what to blog about" hhhmm i thought, great idea. My ideas usually come from my day to day experiences, life, my kids, people or just simply taking a walk and BOOM it comes to me. Is blogging fun? Absolutely! I LOVE it and must say i have become very comfortable doing it. It is almost therapeutic.

In the past, i have used a list of blogging ideas to help me a bit as well. So every month i write down a few topics in my notebook and then write down the dates. I have also (like i did this month) written down in my calendar a topic a week. So for instance, i know that i will be blogging about Family Day this weekend because i have it written down in my calendar. Next week, i want to blog about "Sibling Love" which i got from the messages my baby sister and i send each other throughout the day. Words that keep us connected and remind us of the love we share...even though we are apart. The blog will focus on the importance of "staying connected while apart"

But then there are those "in between days" like today, that i want to blog and have to think real hard. lol

One of the things i know works for blogging and have only done it a couple times is "Guest Blogging" This is when you get outside writers to post a blog. A topic of their choice. Or when you interview people and post the interview. Especially if this is someone who is doing something that will interest your readers. You should always look for "new talent" - in reality, the most willing guest bloggers come from those who are just starting to make a name in the blogging world, and you can be the one to fulfill that need to get out there...Fresh ideas, thoughts and information are what you need when looking for someone to be a guest blogger. This blogger does not need to be popular but with something  to say and be able to put those  fresh ideas through written expression. Guest bloggers don't always have to be experts or popular bloggers. Many times, there are too many "hidden talented writers" out here that are waiting for a moment to shine...

What "we" bloggers need to remember is that we should socialize with other blogs within our niche. This will give us an idea of what topics are working and which ones are not. Using the right keywords in your posts is also of the highest importance, as all search engines look for keywords. Your "title" will probably be the biggest pull your blog will have. If you do not have a catchy title, people will not click on it. I have found this to be very accurate.

Well i do have a few tricks up my sleeves lol. I'm bringing up my blogging a notch and also my D.e.v.a Live Page I have a few interviews lined up as well ...with one being Carla, Founder of TradeSensation Events. The interview will be a look into her "Planning" world and why she walked away from a very high end fashion job to "Planning Weddings" I will also comment on how priviledged i feel for having the chance to meet and work with Carla. We will speak briefly about a project we are also working on.

I will be interviewing Solo Davies, Founder of The-Comeback-Movement who believes without a doubt that "whatever your circumstances, never underestimate your ability to impact others." So stay tuned Readers!

If you have an interest in writing a post for The D.e.v.a Blog, email me and let's chat!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Saying Good Bye!

When you think of the word "friend" what comes to mind? Is it someone you see everyday and speak to often or is it someone you barely see or speak too, but you know is there.

I have a few friends that i may not see a lot, and sometimes, for stretches, not at all, which is ok with me. I'd rather see the a friend a couple times a year than suffer a faux friend a couple times a week just for the sake of having her around. The deepest friendships have nothing to do with proximity; they aren't based on how long we've known each other but on how well we love and respect each other.

I never have to wonder where i stand with these friends. We never fear of anything in each other's company. I can tell these friends anything and know they'd never think less of me, or cut me off, or gossip about my personal issues, or use my past or current anger or maybe fear -against me.
I'm talking about genuine friendship. I'm talking about two-way deal. Protecting and sincerely celebrating each other. With these people, i do not worry about what betrayals await me, and I've never felt used by them either. I never worry about not calling them because i know they are there when i do. At my most vulnerable, I've probably relied on them for comfort a little too much, but they have never used it against me or made me feel as if i was being "too needy." These people have given me the hope that there really is "true genuine friendships"

Other friends, though, just aren't good for us, no matter how hard we try to make things work. I have had one too many of these "friends" The ones that suck all your energy...the ones that never have anything productive to talk about. The ones that call when they "need" something. The ones that come and go "as they please or when it benefits them" The ones we know deep within do not care for us one bit.  If we're cleaning out our lives of stuff that threatens our well-being, a bad friend belongs right there on the pile. She takes up far more of your time than she deserves, and yet we keep her around for the same reasons we hang on to the clothes in closet that we don't even wear. If you are anything like me, maybe you think this friend will change or maybe "she" is just going through something.

I think this "friend or frenemy" can be exposed with a few easy questions: Do you look forward to seeing this person, or do you drag out the day and time you have to see her/him? Is this person happy to see you, or is he/she nagging the entire time? Will you walk away from this meeting feeling good—or feeling empty?

Will you regret the time spent with this person? Maybe you could have just stayed at home or did something else.....these are very important questions to ask yourself. I mean, why waist your time and theirs as well.

I've had a few such friendship "diseases" in my life, and I'm absolutely positive I've been one also, but part of growing up means knowing when to stop playing pretend. Remaining attached to some people is like slaving... and allowing myself be a sucker to negative energy only deprives me of the opportunity to nurture those friendships that do work. As a busy mother, employee, business owner, sister, daughter, student, and woman, i battle with enough...trying to separate my time for all my duties. I mean i barely have enough time as it is, much less to spend it with those unworthy of it. My plate if full and if I'm going to free up my time for other things and people, it is going to be well worth it. I don't mean doing extravagant things...NO! This could be just a coffee date, but it's REAL.

The truth never fails to show itself in those "real friendships"  True friends bear each other's burdens. Without this, there's nothing.
I read this piece this morning  "Friendship is about collaboration, not domination. Because we should be stewards of each other's rooms, I am happy to help you keep yours clean, but life is too fleeting to let you continue trashing mine."

Maybe you are holding onto someone just "because"
Maybe you have known this person your whole life. Maybe you owe this person something. Maybe you your just "too" comfortable.
Well today, ask yourself the questions above and if you know deep within that you must LET GO, than do so in a respectful manner. Don't drag this on any longer.

The drama queen. The attention addict. The angry girl. The complaining nag. When poison friends attack your life, sometimes you just need to say goodbye.

Love, Liz

Monday, February 7, 2011

Top Reasons To Hire A Wedding Planner

The Tradesensation One Stop Shop Wedding Studio

I have blogged about this topic in the past but i feel it's time to share some of my "planning" knowledge again.

Time and time again, many "brides to be" wander into our studio soooo last minute. When i say last minute, i mean they have about 3 to 5 months left of planning. Why? Because they thought it was all peaches and cream until the last minute stuff kicked in and now they are over board stressed and crying for help. Of course this is where we step in as planners but i would like to say this "Don't wait for last minute ladies" You have no idea how much money we "planners" save you.

One of the main reasons you want to hire a planner is to help you with budgeting. The venue, as we all know, is the most expensive part of the wedding. This is where you have got to have a planner with you. Only planners can budget this item! "They" know we know our stuff. Simple as that.
 It's all in the decor and TS team knows BEST!

The venue is an important part and needs to be done prior to everything else. We know how to get all the best deals from the best vendors and how to avoid waisting time. Wedding vendors will often do their best for the planners in regards to prices, that they would not do for the the bride or groom. We will not take away your ideas, rather we work in coordination with you.

We help you with your own ideas and also offer our own touch and taste to the wedding. In the end of it all, you are the one that decides what suits you best.
Our newest Table covers

Making A Choice
You will get totally overwhelmed with a million questions from vendors, friends and family and you will be confused as to what to say or which vendor to go with. This is where we step in and keep you away from all that. You are not suppose to be stressed at all.

The Day of
Planning an event from start to finish is about creating an environment. Each environment is as unique as its host. Trade Sensation Wedding Studio is a boutique event company that provides personalized service, taking extra care to understand our clients, their unique personality and objectives.

Custom Packages
Trade Sensation Event Planners can customize any package to meet your unique needs. E-mail  us for a free no obligation consultation.

Finally, do your self a favor and consider contacting us today. Don't try and go at this alone or with the help of a friend or family member. They deserve to enjoy this day. Do you know how many women tell us that their "best friends or family members" did not get to enjoy their wedding. Come on seriously, give yourself and your loved ones, the wedding of your dreams with NO WORRIES!

Log onto Trade Sensations to view our packages.

Sealed with LOVE from the TS Team

Planning weddings is what we love!
Email us today at

Friday, February 4, 2011

Relationships Do's and Don'ts!

I'm totally hooked on the Oprah show. I mean there are so many amazing topics and i just love the energy. I do not get to watch much TV at all, but when and if I'm sitting in front of the TV, you can guarantee I'm watching something that is going to either empower me or leave me feeling "moved"

So have you read Steve Harvey's "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man"
Well i have and it is amazing. I mean it's so refreshing to see a man be so raw and real about "men" The good and the bad. he is  a very honest man.

I logged onto the Oprah Website today when i got to work and enjoyed reading the interview article with Steve and Oprah. I have copied some pieces of the article and pasted them here instead of writing about what i enjoyed most. Women had a chance to ask Steve a question of their choice and here are some of them along with the answers. I have highlighted the words that truly stood out to me.


If a man is cheating or has the intention to cheat, why pursue commitment with one woman?

Michele found out her boyfriend of many years was cheating after he told her he was ready to settle down and get married. The male mind may be a mystery to women, but Steve says there's a simple explanation for this behavior.
"A man having sex outside of his relationship is very different from [a woman]," he says. "Once we shower and wash off, we cool. Please know that about a man. If he's going to cheat, it has nothing to do with his emotional attachment to you or his feelings for you, nothing."
Steve says cheaters make promises to their significant others because they know that's what women want to hear. "Michele, there's nothing wrong with you. You haven't done anything," he says. "Please release yourself. Let the baggage go."

What are some other reasons why men cheat?
Sadly, many women have dated men who cheat…and most of them don't even know it. Ever.
Steve says there are a few major reasons why men stray, though none of them excuse the behavior.

Top 5 Reasons:

They can.

They think they can get away with it.

The man hasn't become who he wants and needs to be or found who he truly wants to be with.

What's happening at home isn't "happening" like it used to.

There's always a woman out there willing to cheat with him. (wow)

Once a cheater, always a cheater??This old adage isn't always true, according to Steve.
"Men can change," he says. "Sometimes the loss of someone valuable to a man kicks a switch for him. … I'm different from what I used to be."

Steve says the most important thing to remember is that somewhere, someday, you'll meet the man you've been searching for. "When the right one comes, he's going to be there. You are all going to meet him," he says. "God would not create your soul mate and never allow you to meet him."

WOWOWOWOWOW!!!!!! Another article that was totally amazing…Enjoy this article and to read more please go to

How do you know it’s LOVE??????
If you are able to think and feel and say “I can live without you, no problem” It’s LOVE!

"I can't live," wails the singer, "if living is without you." It sounds so tragically deep to say that losing your lover's affections would make life unlivable—but have you ever been in a relationship with someone whose survival truly seemed to depend on your love? Someone who sat around waiting for you to make life bearable, who threatened to commit suicide if you ever broke up? Or have you found yourself on the grasping side of the equation, needing your partner the way you need oxygen? The emotion that fuels this kind of relationship isn't love; it's desperation. It can feel romantic at first, but over time it invariably fails to meet either partner's needs.
"I can live without you" is an assurance that sets the stage for real love.
"My love for you will never change" is a hot seller. Unfortunately, this is another promise that is more likely to scuttle a relationship than shore it up.

You're not everything I need.

I'm a big fan of sexual monogamy, but I'm puzzled by lovers who claim that their romantic partner is the only person they need in their lives or that time together is the only activity necessary for emotional fulfillment. Humans are designed to live in groups, explore ideas, and constantly learn new skills. Trying to get all this input from one person is like trying to get a full range of vitamins by eating only ice cream. When a couple believes "We must fulfill all of each other's needs," each becomes exhausted by the effort to be all things to the other and neither can develop fully as an individual.

It amazes me how often my clients' significant others feel threatened when the clients revive childhood passions or take up new hobbies. I encourage people to bring their spooked spouses to a session so we can discuss their fears. The hurt partners usually come in sounding something like this: "How come you have to spend three hours a week playing tennis (or gardening or painting)? Are you saying I'm not enough to keep you happy?" The healthiest response to such questions is "That's right, our relationship isn't enough to make me completely happy—and if I pretended it were, I'd stunt my soul and poison my love for you. Ever thought about what you'd like to do on your own?" Sacrificing all our individual needs doesn't strengthen a relationship. Mutually supporting each other's personal growth does.

I won't always hold you close.

There's a thin line between a romantic statement like "I love you so much, I want to share my life with you until death do us part" and the lunatic-fringe anthem "I love you so much that if you try to leave me, I'll kill you." People who say such things love others the way spiders love flies; they love to capture them, wrap them in immobilizing fetters, and drain nourishment out of them at peckish moments. This is not the kind of love you want.

The way you can tell real love from spider love is simple: Possessiveness and exploitation involve controlling the loved one, whereas true love is based on setting the beloved free to make his or her own choices. How you use the word make is also a tip-off. When you hear yourself saying "He makes me feel X" or "He made me do Y," you're playing the victimized, trussed-up fly. Even more telling are sentences like "I've got to make him see that he's wrong" or "I'll hide what I really think because it would make him angry." You are not the victim but the crafty spider, withholding and using manipulation to control your mate's feelings and actions. Either strategy means that someone is being held too close, wrapped in spider silk.

Getting out of this sticky situation is simple: Tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Begin by taking responsibility for your own choices—including the choice to obey the spider man who may have you in his thrall. Then communicate your real feelings, needs, and desires to your partner, without trying to force the reaction you want. If your relationship can't thrive in the clear light of honesty, it is better to get out of it than to sink further into manipulation and control.

You and I aren't one.

Perhaps you are neither a spider nor a fly but a chameleon who morphs to match the one you love. Or you may date chameleons, choosing partners who conform to your personality. Either way, you're not in a healthy relationship. In fact, you're not in a relationship at all.

I used to tune in so acutely to my loved ones' wants and needs that I literally didn't know my own. This denial of self ultimately turned into resentment, poisoning several close relationships. Then—once burned, twice shy—I went briefly to the opposite extreme. I found myself having a lot of lackluster lunches with folks who hung on my every word and agreed with everything I said. Narcissistic I may be, but Narcissus I'm not; hanging out with a human looking-glass, no matter how flattering, left me lonely.

If you're living by the "We are one" ideal, it's high time you found out how terrific love for two can be. Follow your heart in a direction your partner wouldn't go. Dare to explore your differences. Agree to disagree. If you're accustomed to disappearing, this will allow you to see that you can be loved as you really are. If you tend to dominate, you'll find out how interesting it is to love an actual person rather than a human mirror.

Like JLO recently said in an interview "I'm still trying to understand this love thing"
Love takes work and time. But loosing yourself while falling for someone is NOT love, rather it is LUST!
I know the feeling and it is not a good one. When you are dating or "liking" someone, it is suppose to be fun and adventurous. If you find that you have lost everything and everyone who meant good to you, than you have got to check yourself. Thousands of women loose themselves before they are ready to call it quits and than sometimes it's too late (so they think)
If you want to know if you should marry someone, an older lady once told me; whatever your man does before marriage, he will do double the amount after.
I asked her "what do you mean by that" She answered "If he cheats, he will cheat more only you will not know. He will become a master at hiding it...if he is lazy, he will become even more lazy after marriage....if he is grumpy, he will become very grumpy....if he does not do nice things for you, he will totally stop after marriage"
LET ME TELL you this ladies, DO NOT ignore this. It was probably the best advice i ever got regarding marriage.
Start studying people. Become more observant of peoples actions and the words they use. Be alert but not possessive.
 If you have to wonder if your man is "cheating" or what he is doing, even when he does not know this is what your doing, then LET HIM GO!!!! Talk about a waste of time and energy. God did not give us life to live this way.
Alright ladies, I'm out!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

I'm One Lucky Woman!

Some of you already know if there is one thing i want to do again, it is to be a foster mother. Fostering is what i feel i do best as it is just like being a "mother" i don't really see a big difference at all.

I fostered 5 teen boys for a few years and loved every minute of it. I know eh??? How in Gods name did i do this? Well that is what i mean by it's one of the things i do best. It's very natural for me. Keep in mind, i also have a teen boy ...or should i say "man" lol (he is 18) Due to unfortunate circumstances, i was no longer living with my foster sons. Despite this, they come by my house a lot and even stay over night. I care deeply for them and still call them my "boys"

I was going to start fostering again and went in to see my old boss Susan. She told me i did not have to do any training as she already knew how well i did as a parent and foster parent. So she handed me the "Home Study" and told me to let her know when i was ready. I looked into buying a home big enough to take in at least 2 teen boys and realized moving was not in my favour at the time.

So i continued to pray about it and told God that "I'm ready for a foster son when you are ready to give me one" and just held onto the hopes that God would make a way soon. In the meantime, i got closer and closer with my foster son Kirk. He was definitely the closest to me. He has moved a couple times in the past year and just a couple weeks ago, he moved in with me. YIIIPPPYYYY!!!! I'm so happy and totally love having him home with us. He is such a perfect addition to our family. He is a blessing to any home. This young man is the ideal son (you too Keeno lol) He cooks, cleans and loves a good conversation. He has known Captain (my almost 3 year old) since, before birth Captain is sooo happy to have Kirk back home with us. So for now, i will put my application for fostering on hold as my prayers have been answered.
Although he is no longer in care, he was my foster son once before, and will always BE!

I think the reason why i love fostering so much is because i was once a foster kid too. I remember while in the care of these evil foster parents (except the last home i was in where i got pregnant with Keeno) i realized how much these people out here use the foster care business as just that, a BUSINESS! It made me sick and i would often yell at them "you guys are just using us for a pay cheque" It was obvious. Even today, there are way too many people out here using these poor kids who are already broken and dramatized for a "cheque" It sickens me and breaks  my heart. It is something i can't sit back and watch without opening my mouth. This world is filled with cruel people. Terrible people. So sad.

I'm so thankful to God for the giftings he has given me. I also thank God for my PAST. For if it had not been for my past, i would never be where i am today. I would not have the opportunity to foster with so much care and love... and above all, i would not have a STORY!!!

If you have a past, don't be afraid to share it. Set an example of what God is able to do. For God brought me through my storms to get me to where i am today. I'm proud of my trials and tribulations. They were stepping stones to get higher and higher. Don't ever complain and ask God "why me" WHY NOT YOU????

Today, i have 3 beautiful boys at home who i know will be sure to take care of me one day. I hope that day will not be for another 50 years ...oh wait i mean 30 lol but i do know that i will be ok because i make sure first and foremost, that my boys are OK!!!

I don't care for what many women today care for, the men, the fancy lifestyle and whatever else. It is about my kids and family. I will be ok the rest of my life living with my boys and doing what i love; GIVING BACK!

I know i have been "hand picked by God" to do what I'm doing.

I'm one lucky woman.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


Snowstorm Alert

Ok... I'm not one to get very paranoid about weather conditions....however 30 c of snow is not a joke.
Please be careful out there and i really hope and pray that you have winter tires on your car. I only recently got mine and let me tell yaaahh what a world of a difference it made.

The storm is expected to hit later this evening and by morning, it will be in full force.

PLEASE be safe!